What Do You See?

What do you see??

Does it ever seem like that no matter what happens that you are ALWAYS the person giving a least just a little bit more in every relationship?

Whether it is investing more time than they do, making all the plans, doing more than your share of the work, pulling your weight – and some of theirs, making more concessions….

Just like me, I bet almost EVERY person that read this thought, ‘Yeah, I do give more in relationships than most people.’

I’m not saying that you thought that with a bad attitude. I didn’t.

But I can still hear my son Austin asking when he was about 9 years old, ‘Did you have me so that I can do all you guy’s work?’ His big chore was taking the trash out 🙂 #stressful?

Really, most people see whatever they give away (time, money, effort) like they are looking through a magnifying glass and WHATEVER we just gave seems big to us.

Then, when someone gives something to us (that they saw as HUGE), we receive it as something much smaller. Like what ever it is goes through an incredible shrinking machine before it gets to us.

Maybe you are disagreeing with me right now. So I’ll give you an example.

I got up this morning extra early because my beautiful sleeping husband accidentally elbowed me in the head and then rolled over – taking ALL of the covers.

I didn’t say a word and snuck out of the room so that he could sleep.

I started a load of laundry, straightened up his things in the living room, paid our bills and knocked out a few chores around the house.

When I saw him that morning, showered and ready for the day, he didn’t remark on all I had accomplished, saved him from having to do, or even for letting him sleep after I nearly escaped a concussion.

Nope, he said, “I’m going to take Ashtyn with me to make your morning easier.”

He didn’t do anything wrong. He was actually being super sweet and thoughtful making my morning kid-free. But he didn’t see anything I gave him. But mentioned the thing he was doing to give to me.

And to be honest, if this concept wasn’t rolling around in my head I would have probably thought something like, ‘Oh thanks. But I have been doing you favors all morning too!”

Not sold yet? Try this.

Your paycheck. We are excited about the new job, the pay raise, the increase we get. Then we get used to the paycheck we get every week and actually start to grumble at how low the amount is.

What we get, what is coming in, is small in our eyes.

However, when we go to write a check for only 10% of that amount to give that to God. Suddenly that 10% seems MASSIVE because we are giving it!

The magnifying glass effect goes on!!!

The amazing thing is that this principle works the same in relationships with loved ones, with our money, even at work.

In order to reach life more, we have to learn when that magnifying and super shrinking switch is being flipped and to override it.

It’s the same principle from Matt 7:3. You know, the one about your brother’s eye?

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” NIV

Our wrongs? Small in our sight. Someone else’s wrong to us? Lumberjack size problem.

Let’s crush the magnifying glass!
Let’s see the good and God are doing to us for all the wondrous blessing that it is.
Let’s give away BIG encouragement so that others at least feel it a little bit.
Let’s maximize the encouragement that we get and ride that wave as long as we can.
Let’s set the stage for seeing the good in things so we enjoy life to another level.

Are you thinking about a time when something like this happened to you and you want some space to share?

Post your comment below. We’re listening…

12 Responses

  1. kimberly fielder

    Just last week I couldn’t sleep so up I got and trash, laundry, rest of the dishes, made his tuna salad for work and even rearranged some furniture was done before he got up. Well the moment of truth was about to happen when he came downstairs, WHAT not one word not one stinking word, but oh how the words of wanting to tell him everything I did was at the tip of my tongue (which would of been a few years ago) BUT..now I try to keep in my head Colossians 3:23, granted its not easy and yes there have been times my mouth was spewing out quicker then I can think.
    I love your “Let’s crush the magnifying glass!
    Thank you Pastor Nicole

  2. Lisa Mash

    WOW… that hit home! With almost everyone I know… I feel I always go the extra mile, and I don’t truly don’t take in what they’ve been doing for me. It’s always been ‘look what I’ve done’

    Thanks Pastor Nicole, I’m going to start today and not worry about the extra mile I do, but be thankful for the people around me do for me.

  3. This is pretty timely for me. I recently had been feeling like I give, give, give in a certain friendship and barely get back what I put in. I had just finished complaining about this to my husband when said friend blew my mind with some wonderful things. It was great, and what I wanted, but what I actually got out of it was the realization that I have GOT TO STOP looking for that gratitude, that gold star, that cookie, for doing things that I need to simply do out of love, knowing that God sees everything, and His view is the ONLY one that matters. I am so ME focused, and that’s a hard one to overcome. And then another devotion I read (shereadstruth.com) spoke about humility in serving today. Coincidence? I think not. 🙂

  4. priscilla schroeder

    It seems we are always wanting someone to notice what you are doing for them, always looking for that unsaid ” Thank You” when we don’t get that we tend to say things that are not so nice. We talk beneath our breathe about another person not noticing what we did. We need to change our thinking and just be grateful that we can do things to help others..

  5. Dan Klausmeyer

    Beautifully stated and reminds me how much self ego gets in to keep us from surrendering everything to Christ – to die self daily and some days its moment to moment…..we are to be servants and that was given to us by example as Christ washed the feet of those in his inner circle…as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me.

  6. Deborah Griffin

    I really don’t know what to say right now,other than Im very confused.I haven’t had God in my life for a very very long time because of personal and lots of other things that has happened in my life.I keep pushing it away for what ever reason. Problems just keep on following me from an abused child to now as an adult.I finly have a good man ,my husband,in my life and I just don’t know how to deal with problems in a marriage.I instead make things much worse. I left my husband,not because I don’t love him cause I do very much,but because we have all kinds of problems and we are not bonding or connecting the way a married couple should.I relize now that we are apart just how much I really love him,I just cant live with these problems I know it takes two to make it work.I now find myself calling all the time,hopeing he will answer the phone or return a phone call,but he wont.Im afraid I just made things worst by leaving and now I may have lost my husband my real true love of my life.Im lost. I need help. What can I do?

  7. Very true and very well put. I never thought of the magnifying glass thing. It does seem bigger to us when we give something . I can see how unbalanced my own perceptions of myself in relation to others can get sometimes. This kind of reminds of Pastor David’s blog where he said for us not to get too impressed with ourselves that we fail to see the things other people do for us….and especially those we live with. the other , especially ,

  8. Collins

    Wow, Pastor Nicole! What an interesting post to read; especially after having been asked earlier today to help my brother articulately describe (read: justify) why we Collins men do what we do when we do it. However, thanks to the “love of my life” who shared this article, I was compelled to truly rethink my/our actions. The truth is that often we are too near-sighted in our focus and myopic in perspective (we simply do not see the full picture). But thank God for the Light of His Word which shines light in shadowy places. We have been self-absorbed and soooo biased in our thinking. Now we will recommit to seeing, acknowledging and valuing the blessings that each other offers (without shrinking it lol). Hopefully we will become increasing better at seeing as God sees.

  9. Karen Lawson

    Wonderful wisdom and insight. Thank You for your posts they are appreciated and always read if not always commented on. You and Dave and awesome!

  10. Melanie

    Thank you for the good insight. A similar article is in the In Touch magazine for July (from Dr. Charles Stanley’s ministry), relating to how we see ourselves and others in God’s eyes, how we treat each other, healthy relationships. Blessings to the Cranks — love you guys:)!

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