Danger Ahead: Turn Back Now!
I’ve done some dangerous things in life.
I have swam with sharks… many times… even pet them.
I’ve taken off in a two-person airplane (scary!).
The pilot, my husband, had just received his pilot’s license (very scary!).
What was I thinking?
I’ve scuba dived off a 6000-foot drop while a 14-foot hammerhead shark swam by me.
I’ve buried the needle of my speedometer (as high as it would go). I was young and stupid.
I have even looked down the barrel of a loaded gun as someone threatened me.
But none of these things compare to the most dangerous thing I have done.
What’s the most dangerous thing you have done?
Have you parachuted? Raced cars?
Tried something illegal or immoral? Fattening?
Have you done a stunt? Maybe BMX?
Have you quit your job without a way to make money or pay your bills?
We have all done something dangerous.
But none of these things compare to what’s on my mind right now.
Beware of Danger
Today, I had the opportunity to do something extremely dangerous. And I almost did!
This was not the kind of danger with a warning label or beware sign advising of tragedy ahead.
There was no opportunity to choose whether or not to engage.
This was the kind of danger that popped up out of nowhere and there I was, right in the middle of it, before I even realized it.
This is what happened.
David and I were at dinner. Alone, and not discussing business.
For us, this combination of events is as rare as finding a one-carat diamond in your back yard.
Our phones were off and we were focused on each other. Perfect moment.
Then all of a sudden, David’s phone starting buzzing. One text led to another, then a work conversation. After a few more texts, I had had enough.
I requested (ever so sweetly mind you) that he would put his phone away, but he replied, like a devil (because I am the angel in this story), that he would put the phone down in a few seconds and that it wasn’t a big deal.
Somehow, from this simple exchange, I ended up in one of the most dangerous places I have ever been.
Words Can Kill
Poisonous words that could kill our evening, mood, and potentially our relationship, were on the tip of my tongue. They were ready to roll off my lips like silk.
I paused then realized this was a truly dangerous situation.
At one time or another, we all find ourselves in a situation similar to this one.
I’m talking about a situation where we have the opportunity to assassinate our future with a few words.
These words bubble up then out of us in anger, hurt, or defense.
It’s like we are pointing a gun at our future. The safety is off and our finger is on the trigger.
Solomon spoke of situations like these. He wrote,
There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. –Proverbs 12:18 (AMP)
Our future is determined by the decisions we make right now… the words we speak at this moment… the words we speak when a loved one, boss, friend, spouse, or child pushes our buttons (whether intentionally or not) and we are ready to push back.
What’s the cost?
Think about this…
When we recognize the seemingly invisible danger of our words (those words sitting on the tip of our tongues in the heat of the moment… when our blood is boiling), we can continue down the path God has laid before us.
And its totally worth it because God’s path is better than our own.
From the fruit of his words a man shall be satisfied with good… –Proverbs 12:14 (AMP)
Are you ready?
Your next opportunity may be right around the corner!
Now its your turn. Tell me, how have you handled (or mishandled) a dangerous situation in life?
Share your experience in the comments below.
Words can be hurtful or words can be uplifting. Many times I have been placed in dangerous situations….staying calm, focused, and following instinct helped to diffuse the situation and make for a positive outcome.
But jumping out of a hot air balloon, swimming with sharks, diving off a 50 foot cliff, holding a snake, and hiking 46 miles in three days to have a glimpse at the beautiful waterfalls at Havasupai, Az that God created have been some of my most adventurous times and could have been the most dangerous.
Amazing blog – so insightful. I pray that others read and think about this.
I have been in the situation similar to the one you were in and did not handle it well!! I have had moments when i know I shouldn’t say anything or just bite my tongue, but I don’t and say something stupid that ends up hurting the relationship or making the fight go longer. Amazing blog today!!
Awesome Word!! Great Reminder for us all to stop and think before we do / say something we regret & can’t take back!! There is life and death in the power of the tongue…LIFE is so much better!!
Thanks for another great word..You are amazing!!
Thank you Nicole, for sharing this today. I am in the midst of a very ugly and hurtful dispute with my youngest daughter (19 & 4 hours away at school.) My two oldest kids (26 yr old son & 21 yr old step-daughter) have become involved with our parenting choices in retrieving my daughters car due to “partying”.
My step daughter and I have exchanged some ugly words in the past, but this time has been the worst. While I know it was not Godly or virtuous of me to engage in this with her, I couldn’t stop….
I felt like a mother bear protecting her cub and all gloves were off.
Feeling Sad, Hurt & Ashamed
God is still working on me. I have to remind myself to watch my words, especially when I’m caught up in my feelings. It is NOT an easy thing to do. Whether it be my children, my husband, a friend or an acquaintance, I’m learning that it is best to bite my tongue, and/or walk away and cool off before I make the situation worse with my words.
I too have been in similar, horrible, possible murderous situations. Every day I have to make the choice, do I want instant gratification by saying what I feel or do I want God’s vindication that lasts for a lifetime. It’s a constant struggle to live what I say I believe, even when it looks like evil regularly wins. I have to keep reminding myself that words have life. I want to confess great, powerful words, not words that bring death – usually manifesting as a slow, insidious, often invisible disease that can spread for generations.
Great post Pastor Nicole! I think I’ve been in the situation of using harmful words WAY too many times! I’ve had to learn to filter a lot and remind myself that if it won’t bring any benefit then don’t say it! 🙂
Years back when we were still working on our farm, my husband had built a grain planter, from scratch — not bought a kit (which weren’t even available), but totally custom built a machine that would have cost hundreds of thousands of dollars had he been able to purchase one new. He designed, engineered and put the whole thing together. Just before being able to do a test run in the field, the guys who worked for us were all standing around, and one of the guys’ dad was there and said to me, in typical redneck put-down fashion, “Well, do ya think it’s gonna work?” Before replying in the way most people would, such as “well, I don’t know” or some other negative reply, instead I replied, “Everything he’s built in the past has worked, so I see no reason why this won’t!” It caught the guy off guard that I didn’t participate in his pessimism, but what I didn’t realize until later was that the biggest impact in my statement was on my husband, when he said “Thanks for sticking up for me the other day.” I barely even remembered making the statement, but he definitely did. I chose to edify, not put down, and that was priceless to him.
Thank you Pastor Nicole. Yes, very dangerous indeed. With our words we can damage or destroy the potential future of a child. Children especially take to heart the things we say to them. In moments of anger I’ve said the wrong things to my children. The good part is that I recognized it, apologized and made things right. Those words whether good or bad are seeds that will grow and produce a harvest in their lives.
This is where I get into trouble. Verbal warfare!. I really try not to speak and I lose many times . Some of speak for a living so it is really easy to use words inefficiantly. I call it a waste of words and a blow to my own self respect . I may be witty but I need to JUST BE QUIET. I like to write so it would be wise to put it inside of a leather jacket .Another word spelled wrong !
I was often participated, been a part of this danger. My aunt once told me that if I could just learn to keep my mouth shut I would be okay. Well, I’m 68 I still work on it, but I am so much better about seeing and running from this danger. I believe the older I got the less my world was about me and more about My Father, my family and the rest of God’s children. I still work on it but it’s much easier to get away from it now with my Fathers help.
“assassinate my future”…those are words that will remain in my mind for awhile. God help me….This is Queenly wisdom indeed, I am printing it out and pinning it in front of my face until it becomes more than information. Thanks for your “realness” Ps. Nicole.
What a wonderful blog Pastor Nicole!! I think we all need to be reminded of this from time to time. I know how much words can hurt. The saying of “sticks & stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” ….is absolutely NOT TRUE! I can remember very hurtful things that were said to me when I was still married, and that was 17 years ago. I know I’ve been guilty of saying things I shouldn’t also & then wish I could take it back. It is so important to stop and think before we speak sometimes. Negativity and harsh words can crush someone’s soul & self-esteem. These are both very dangerous!
Nicole,
I love it that you are so absolutely transparent… no holds barred! Truth is missing ingredient in so many instances in all of our lives; and that is what sets us free! I desire to do a “reality church” program showing folks like you and me just being you and me and loving God out loud doing everyday ordinary things. Doing things like you just described with you and your hubby in the restaurant where you could of said, x, y and z but you chose the higher ground because you know you are walking in purpose yet having very “real relationship moments,” and you choose to walk in love when you could of chose the low road. All of life is about choices every moment of the day. And Christians can choose to do right or they can choose to do wrong just like anybody else but we strive for the most part chosen to do right and even if we don’t, we can repent and get back in position. Now, how awesome is that! And God gets all the glory when I submit to Him daily. Next time i am at your church I’ll say hello! Loving you and your better half in Jesus name! : ~ )