I’m going to TRY and tell you about a time when I blew it. I hope I can tell it honestly enough.
My husband and I ride to the office together more often than not. It’s the only few minutes that we have alone. No kids, no team, no church members. Just us taking a few minutes to be …married.
The Plot Thickens
So, about a week ago, we were both getting ready in the bathroom. I could tell he was finishing before I was, so I felt pressured to hurry up. I just KNEW the question was coming, “How long is it going to be?” (Ever heard that question ladies?) So, of course, I gave the standard answer. “Five minutes.” (Ever heard THAT answer guys?)
I don’t even have a clock in there!
So imagine my surprise when I finally came out of the bedroom (in what SEEMED like five minutes later) and ran down the hall to the garage, just in time to catch a glimpse of tires leaving beyond a closing garage door.
And we were going to the SAME meeting!!!!
I was wounded!
I IMMEDIATELY copped an attitude!
I’m not exactly sure what I said, but I AM aware of the fact that I was saying it OUTLOUD, even though I was in my car alone. I guarantee, it was unflattering to him, at best. Actually, I’m pretty glad there isn’t a hidden microphone in our car …and if there is – Baby… I apologize!
I FLEW, not drove, to catch up with him. Tripping all over myself, I made SURE that I walked into that building BEFORE he did. With an attitude of course! But not TOO much tude, that it would blow my cover.
I kept a chip on my shoulder for most of the day, but only when HE was around. Because HE was the rude individual who had so callously just left, hurt my feelings and wounded me!
Wounded ME? Seriously? Yes!
Get a Grip!
On my drive home (which was alone, THANK GOD) I FINALLY got a grip! My feelings were SO hurt that he would leave the house without taking me or AT LEAST saying goodbye.
So in order to deal with the hurt, I had turned my SAD to MAD. I honestly wasn’t mad when I saw the garage door close… I was CRUSHED!
It wasn’t even his fault. I had been left, for no reason, SO many times by my EX-husband, that waves of unassociated hurt came flooding back in that moment.
I couldn’t cry, in good conscious. So I got MAD!!!
Hurt people… hurt other people.
Have you ever covered YOUR sad with mad?
When a co-worker said something true, but too close to home to feel good?
Maybe you attempted something and didn’t succeed, and then someone brought it up?
Or worse, when we failed at something (at work, with a child, in a relationship, in a marriage) and someone tried to HELP us so we lashed out at them?
Or the worst YET, if someone just headed to work to be at a meeting ON TIME. If it hadn’t been at the church, where we’re supposed to be leaders, I would probably have explained his error to him in an ANIMATED way!!!
Do you know what he did?
When we got home that night, I walked up to him and told him about that morning and how MAD I was, and how STUPID it seemed, and how I was really just HURT for a lot of dumb reasons.
Because I was honest with him about my pain, and I didn’t try to cover it up with anger or make it his fault… he hugged me and told me HE was sorry. HE was sorry. Wow!!!
I admitted to him how I’d covered my SAD with MAD all day. I told him I was totally in the wrong and apologized if he had felt any attitude from me at all.
And then we had a GREAT night! I (me, nobody else!) had RUINED my whole day, but thankfully, I didn’t open my big mouth and ruin HIS! (For NO reason but to cover my sad.)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Gal. 5:22 (NKJV)
None of which, I used until the end of the day!
PLEASE SHARE WITH US…
Have you ever used the emotion of mad, anger, or aggravation to cover your TRUE feeling of sadness, insecurity or failure?
You are not alone. We all do it.
How have you ever ‘caught yourself in the act’? Or stopped it? Or short circuited it?
Thank goodness, “All things work together for good, to those who love God.” Rom 8:28 (NKJV)
Share, so we can ALL be ok with the fact that we mess up and fail as humans, but endeavor to be better TOGETHER 🙂