Everyday I’m sharing 1 of 12 things I learned in 2012.
Today #5 – Anger never made anyone feel better
Including the person that got angry! Sometimes ‘letting the feelings out’ is something we can justify to ourselves, but it never feels justified to the person on the other end.
And later many times the angry person deals with guilt from lashing out. Using restraint in those moments will have big dividends in our life.
Anger is pretty much a no-win situation all the time.
Feel yourself getting angry? Take a moment for yourself before letting words slip out of your mouth that you can’t get back (see the #1 thing I learned in 2012!)
Check out Previous Days:
#1. 12 Things I Learned in 2012… Some of them the Hard Way
#2. The 2nd thing I learned in 2012
We need a seminar on Anger, and dealing with it correctly. As a child I was not allowed to express emotions; had no control over what the idiot adults were doing and just had to accept things-as an adult now I have issues with anger. Never learned how to deal with it, and or control it. It has and can manifest into all kinds of unhealthy things. And can destroy relationships, and families.
LADY G,
So many people deal with anger issues and just don’t know how to handle life’s frustrations the GOD way! I admire your honesty and openness on this particular topic.
I now find myself in the middle of my life with kids and a husband looking at me. I am trying so hard to get in under control before it (the anger) costs me everything. It is an ugly thing, and will destroy everything if you let it go unchecked. Watching to hear about an upcoming seminar, girls night etc. 🙂 🙂
LADY G,
Anger is a tricky thing. The Bible talks about anger in Ephesians 4:25…”In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” -Note that it doesn’t say do not be angry, but rather, do not sin when you are angry. Each day we’ve all got to pray for self discipline to control our emotions instead of letting them get the best of us. That verse also says we are not to let the sun go down while we are still angry, which basically means don’t hold onto your anger for too long. When we let our mind over-think things, it tends to make the situation worse! You’re insight is great and you are headed in the right direction sister!
And who knows, maybe you’ll be the one teaching those seminars one day!!
As a child I was emotionally, and verbally abused by two alcoholic parents. My mom was a rager and beat my siblings and I, without provocation, my dad was absentee and having affairs. The sad part was I grew up to be just like my mom. Thankfully, I chose not to have children when I was younger, to avoid repeating the cycle.
I find when I am triggered by life events it’s a warning bell that someone or something has frightened me. Satan knows my weak points, people disrespecting me and or shaming me. Thankfully, God allowed me twenty five years of sobriety and a good safe husband. I am so grateful for God’s mercy and grace.
Unfortunately, my siblings still act out on each other and have not followed Christ’s example of love and kindness. But, God is a God of healing, and I know He is working behind the scenes with all of us. Thank you Nicole, for bringing up a topic that the Christian church has at times wanted to sweep under the rug, because of the ugly nature of anger and rage.
Monabird,
I’m doing my happy dance for your 25 years, congrats!! You said it perfectly, God is a God of healing, if we first surrender our will to Him and let Him work on us instead of avoiding our issues. And sometimes, if we sweep too many things under that old rug, it just gets to be a lumpy, ugly rug. I am praying for your siblings and lifting your family up in prayer right this moment. Just remember, you are breaking all of those generational curses off of your life every single day with every prayer you pray!
My boyfriend is abusive. He controls me with his moods, nothing I do is ever good enough. Sarcastic comments, manipulation of my emotions, he loves to try to get a rise out of me because he thinks it’s funny and that it shows I care about him. He is loving and sweet after one of his outbursts or episodes where he has memories of Iraq and takes off to drink and gamble. He has poured beer on me, throw me on the bed, pulled me out of the car and thrown me on the sidewalk, most recently he threw beer in my face and then pushed me to the ground after I ran at him for throwing the beer. Later that same night he ripped the arm off of the chair I was sitting in and then kicked the chair over with me in it. The arm of the chair left a large bruise on my side and I think I may have a cracked rib. The chair is still laying in shattered pieces in my back yard. I do not know how to deal with his anger. He was abused as a child and has bad memories from his two years in Iraq. I never thought I would be an abused woman. Like so many others like me he was so loving at the start and I could do no wrong. Slowly he it is more and more difficult to make him happy. I feel so stuck.