I went to get my hair done the other day.

Now, theoretically, this is supposed to be a little ‘me time’. We sit down. Somebody else takes care of us for a minute. Maybe you drink some coffee. Flip through a magazine. Relax.

Apparently, I missed that memo.

Because there I was, sitting in the chair with somebody working on my hair while I was on my phone AND typing on my iPad. I have photographic evidence. Why? The person I was texting wanted to know where I was. 

And somewhere between answering something on my phone and typing something on my iPad, I had this thought – Why do we have such a hard time making time for ourselves?

Not time where we’re technically doing something for ourselves while simultaneously answering emails, checking on everybody else, solving a problem and remembering that we forgot to order dog food.

I mean actual time to fill back up.

I was talking with a couple of friends recently and we got into a conversation about priorities. One of them said, ‘Your spouse has to come first.’

And I disagreed.

Now before somebody sends this blog to my husband and tells him I’ve demoted him, hang with me for a sec!

I love David. I love my family and I want to be an incredible wife, mom, grandma, pastor, leader and friend – but I’ve learned something.

If I continually pour myself out until there’s nothing left, eventually the people I love aren’t getting the best of me. They’re getting what’s left of me.

That’s what God intended. Jesus said, Love your neighbor as yourself.   Mark 12:31

For years, I think some of us have read that verse as though loving ourselves were the problem.

But Jesus assumed there would be a healthy ‘as yourself’.

There’s a kind of self-focus that’s selfish, absolutely. But taking responsibility for the person God entrusted to you isn’t selfish.

MAYBE YOU DON’T NEED TO DO MORE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO RECEIVE.

There’s a reason you feel different after you’ve taken a walk or spent ten quiet minutes with your Bible. Taking ten minutes to play with your dog, sit outside, laugh with a friend or doing something that makes you feel like yourself again!

Psychology tells us what most of us have already experienced – That continually caring for others without replenishing ourselves can lead to stress, emotional exhaustion and burnout.

In other words, needing to refill doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human!!!

And guess what? God knows that!

Look at Jesus – Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

Jesus had SO MANY people waiting for Him. People that needed healing. People needed answers. Folks that wanted to hear teaching. Crowds that needed miracles. There was SO MUCH ministry to do!!!

And Jesus still withdrew. Luke 5:16 says, But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Often.

Not once He finished everything, or when everybody stopped needing Him.

Not when there was finally nothing left on the calendar.

He intentionally made room to get alone with His Father. What makes us think we can live differently????

WE’VE CONFUSED EMPTY WITH FAITHFUL.

I think women are especially good at this. We can wear exhaustion like evidence that we love people well. Almost like a badge of exhausted honor.

I’m tired because everybody needs me!

I haven’t had a minute to myself because I’m taking care of everybody…

I haven’t opened my Bible all week, but I’ve answered everybody else’s texts. (Ummmm)

We call it sacrifice.

Sometimes it is…but sometimes we’re just empty.

An empty woman doesn’t become more loving because she ignores her emptiness.

She becomes more tired. More impatient. More distracted. More easily overwhelmed.

I’m not on your case, I’m uncovering the enemies lie.

So maybe we need to change the question.

Instead of asking, ‘Do I have time for myself?’

Maybe we ask – ‘What helps me become the woman God created me to be so I can show up fully for what He’s called me to do?’

Maybe it’s reading your Bible before everybody else gets your attention or going to lunch with the friend who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts.

Maybe it’s turning your phone off for an hour or singing worship songs at the top of your lungs – off key.

Letting somebody else carry something for a minute while you simply receive from God.

Psalm 23 says, He refreshes my soul. I love that.

Apparently God never expected your soul to operate without refreshing.

WHAT IF YOU GAVE GOD ONE NIGHT?

This is part of why I’m so excited about our next I Am Woman night. We’re calling it Extravagant Worship.

 I don’t want it to be another event women squeeze onto an already overcrowded calendar. I want it to be a night where you stop pouring for a minute.

Nobody needs you to fix anything. There not someone tapping on you to produce something. No one is even trying to get you to perform.

You get to come into the presence of God and pour your worship on Him, and allow Him to pour back into you.

There’s something powerful about the story of the woman with the alabaster jar. People around her questioned what she poured out. Jesus didn’t.

She brought something costly and extravagant into His presence. And maybe extravagant for you right now isn’t perfume. Maybe it’s your time.

What if the extravagant thing is saying –  For one night, I’m putting down what everybody needs from me and giving God my undivided attention?!

Not because you’re selfish, but beecause you know where your strength comes from.

You were never designed to be everybody else’s source. God is yours.

So come empty if you need to.

Come tired.

Come carrying things you haven’t told anybody about.

Come needing answers.

Come with your girlfriends.

Just come!!!!!

I Am Woman: Extravagant Worship is Friday, October 9 in St. Louis and Friday, October 23 in West Palm Beach. And if you can’t be with us in the room, join us online.

It’s FREE!!!!

I think what God wants to do in the space you make for Him could be priceless. Taking one night for you isn’t taking something away from the people you love, getting filled again is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.