Where are you???
Last night I had a date with my daughter to take her to the Taylor Swift concert.
Busy with about four big projects right now, everything caught up with me and I was just physically exhausted. I felt like I literally couldn’t move.
I asked her if it would hurt her feelings for us to invite someone else to take her and since she got to choose her chaperone, she was quick to accept the offer and go to the concert without me.
I thought that made me happy. But I was wrong.
Here it comes…
About 30 minutes after they left I started to feel guilty.
Remorse quickly followed behind it.
Then I got a text about an hour later that Ashtyn had been upgraded to the third row! The vision of my daughter making third row memories with someone besides her mom just haunted me.
Torn
I knew that I didn’t feel well and I needed to rest so that I could get better, BUT I wanted to be at that concert with my daughter so bad.
That happens to me a lot.
I’ll make a commitment with a friend maybe to go out to lunch and find myself feeling guilty that I’m not with my family.
Or I’ll spend some time with my family and find myself feeling guilty that I’m not working.
Are having for bed I take time for myself to study or read and then the guilt feelings just come from every direction!
I’m not alone here, am I?
It’s easy to feel guilty and like you should be some place else almost anytime, if you will LET yourself.
This is a trick of the enemy to steal our joy and happiness EVERY day of the week. Always making us feel like we made the wrong decision and we are doing the wrong thing.
Getting us to focus on what we don’t have, instead of what we do have.
All this does is make us lose our focus so that we don’t flourish where we are, enjoy being where we are, and excel at doing what we are supposed in that moment.
So today
Whether you’re at the office, at home with the kids, cleaning the house that God gave you, or out with friends – enjoy where you are right this moment!
One thing I know for sure is that this moment will never EVER (Taylor Swift Never ever getting back together song playing in the background here) approach you again, so enjoy it and the place that you’re at!
Oh, and about the Taylor Swift concert – it turns out, that even if I had gone with her she would not have experienced those third row memories with her mom anyway! The person that took her in my place got her the tickets.
Chime in
Can you think of a time when you were one place and wishing you were somewhere else?
Share with us how you walked through it so that we can all see that we are normal and it happens to everyone!
Can you tell us how you changed your thought process about this?
Story of my life. Some days I feel guilty for taking ANY time for myself, especially if its during my son’s nap time, because that is the ONE window of the day where I can get something DONE, like studying, cleaning, laundry. I guess we all just have to remember life’s about balance. 🙂
I can relate, I don’t think there is a mom out there that doesn’t experience some level of this self-imposed guilt everyday, regardless of how old your children are or if you work outside the home or not. I think we are just programmed that by taking time for ourselves we are being ‘selfish’. Well, in the past year I have been battling cancer, and I can tell you that taking time for yourself is NOT selfish, it is a necessity. You aren’t any good for your family or employer if you aren’t good to yourself. Just don’t wait for a critical illnes or crisis before you realize this. Give yourself the gift of at least one hour a day, you deserve it.
Michelle,
I am praying and standing with you through this battle, I have been through it too-so I know how hard times can be! Your post is a great word to everyone.
I know exactly how that mom feels because I complain a lot about missing date nights with my husband now that we have a 6 month old (even though I need to remind myself daily that his is blessing to us both). When we have friends or family in town and they can watch him so we can go out, all I do is think about him and feel guilty as though I abandoned him. Life is about balance and in this case allowing myself to have time with my husband without worrying about work or our son at home and realizing that our relationship and marriage needs that love and attention just like our son needs.
Christine,
That baby is such a blessing yes, but you’ve also got to balance that blessing with your husband too! 🙂 Sometimes getting away is a nice refresher, and it let’s you know how strong your love is for your kids when you miss them! Things will get easier as they grow, and take any date nights you get!
As a single parent, small business owner, homeowner, and a woman…why would I ever feel guilty about feeling the need to be someplace I wasn’t? Just kidding!!!!
I learned that there are not enough hours in the day nor is there enough gas in tank to do it all, all of the time. Yes, balance is the key, picking your battles, and choosing your priorities carefully. One must realize that there is a time to take in everyone’s life. Time that one needs to take for themselves, for their own health, for their own sanity, and for their own heart. Keeping your own engine full of fuel is pertinent for being able to continue to be your best for the ones you love and the ones you serve.
When I felt like I could go on no longer and began to feel guilty, I didn’t realize it then, but I would talk to the Lord and tell him how tired I felt and how sorry I was for not having the energy at that moment to go on. I’d cry and get it out, but within there somewhere, I always ended up feeling like God told me that it was ok, and that I could rest and then start again in the morning or a couple of days, or whatever I was going through at the time.
And it usually proved to be true.
I also learned that you can’t have ease without pain, good without bad, happy without sad, etc. There is a balance in everything.
Also, sometimes it’s good for children to experience quick changes in plans or experiences with other people like that. Maybe it was just meant for you to enjoy the look on her face and the excitement in her voice as she relives the experience to your delight. 🙂 Cherish ALL of the moments! That’s been my experience.
Deb
Deb,
You’ve got it goin on girl friend!! That post made me laugh and smile! Thank you.
Wonderful blog this week Pastor Nicole. Last night I was at the taylor swift concert with some of my friends but I felt gulity because I promised my sister that I would babysit my nephews for her. All during the concert I kept feeling gulity because I should have been at my sister’s house babysitting. I called my sister letting her know that I was sorry that I couldn’t babysit that night explaining to her that it was taylor swift my favorite country artist. My sister told me that she understood things come up and things happen. I still felt gulity for not keeping my promise to my sister. I learned that everyone feels guilty at some point in their life. My sister always tells me never to feel guilty about something. I think she is right. My sister loves me for who I am. She was a little bit upset that I didn’t babysit last night but she still loves just as much as she does her sons. I’m always going to feel guilty about something in my life but I just have to shake of the guilt.
Cheryl,
Eh..Don’t worry too much about it, life happens! Things always come up and plans change…bit we’ve got to try our best to always stick to the commitments we make! I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to your sister 😉
Wonderful blog this week Pastor Nicole. I was at the taylor swift concert with some of my friends but I felt gulity because I promised my sister that I would babysit my nephews for her. All during the concert I kept feeling gulity because I should have been at my sister’s house babysitting. I called my sister letting her know that I was sorry that I couldn’t babysit that night explaining to her that it was taylor swift my favorite country artist. My sister told me that she understood things come up and things happen. I still felt gulity for not keeping my promise to my sister. I learned that everyone feels guilty at some point in their life. My sister always tells me never to feel guilty about something. I think she is right. My sister loves me for who I am. She was a little bit upset that I didn’t babysit last night but she still loves me just as much as she does her sons. I’m always going to feel guilty about something in my life but I just have to shake of the guilt.
im learning to not feel guilty. and i know gods great . he healed me and im now cancer free thank you thank you i love yor god.