I had just closed the BIGGEST corporate business deal ever reached from my St. Louis sales office.
Right in the middle of my VICTORY party, my office phone rang. The voice on the other end said, “I’m going to KILL you!”
“Excuse me?” I said.
“I’m going to kill YOU and your KID in your yard!”
Skeletons In The Closet
I was PETRIFIED!!! Now, MY PAST started to well up on the inside of me.
I’d recently divorced a GOOD guy who had been involved in some really BAD things. (Drug dealers don’t care WHO pays them… as long as they get paid!)
I PANICKED and started to wonder:
- Do they KNOW where Austin goes to school?
- HOW did the find out where I live?
- Are they OUTSIDE right now?
Fear vs Faith
It was a HORRIBLE feeling!!!
I ALLOWED something from my past to work me into a frenzy. I let FEAR dictate my mindset instead of FAITH.
What was intended to be a day of joy and CELEBRATION quickly became one of the WORST days of my life!
I called my girlfriend and BEGGED her to come home with me.
She Was Having NONE Of It!
She said, “I know these two guys,” their names were actually Dave and DAVID.
In the midst of all the chaos and hoopla, God PLACED my future husband in my path.
Opportunity In Opposition
What started out as something SCARY, turned out to be the birth of something BEAUTIFUL!
The next day, the police were able to track the phone call to Minnesota, to another office in my OWN company.
(It was just some guys who were JEALOUS because I had closed a big deal…and they hadn’t.)
We ALL have something in our past that we think LIMITS our future. But God doesn’t even remember it.
In fact, Christ completely ERASED our old life through His death on the cross. “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12 (NIV)
“Father God, today I’m going to choose the path toward You and away from fears of my PAST. I know I will receive opportunity in any opposition that will lead to the glorious plans that You have for my FUTURE! In Jesus’ name.”
Thank you, I struggle with this all of the time. Just when things look good, the past starts to creep into my mind. It says things like, Gid knows you didn’t keep your word, God knows you lied about that, He won’t heal you, your too damaged. On and on. It’s horrible, I feel like I’m doomed to this.
Lois, I completely understand. I’ve been there just like you. That’s why it’s important to not only recognize that were having those thoughts but to replace them with God’s word. You’re going to be ok. You can take control your thoughts, and you wont have to do it alone. God will help you.
fear and shame-my two biggest enemies. I’m in a place where God keeps bringing me to rest in His finished work, His shelter, His comfort(because it ain’t lookin’ too hopeful or pretty right now). I am resting but needed a reminder to believe that what’s going on now will turn into something absolutely beautiful and impossiblty stupendous and God glorifying. Shalom!
And it will be beautiful, stupendous, and God glorifying, Kathy! Praying for you!
My past is not my future. I will stand on God’s promises and believe in them! Looking forward to everyday and trusting in God for the plans he has for me.
I have few skeleton’s in my closet. Try not to let them interfere with my future. This guy I was with for 15 years messed my life up, and everyone else’s.I pray at least every other day. To ask for forgiveness, for living that way. I know who my maker is and I know who I have to answer to. I pray in my own way and yes I mention everybody I know.-
Reading this truly blessed me today.. As a human being full of past mistakes. I often beat myself up are allow my mind to believe that those mistakes have destroyed who I am but OH NO. Thank YOU Jesus for your grace, mercy and forgiveness. Sometimes you need just a little encouragement. 🙂
Is great that you shared that. Sharing who you are helps others because you are keeping them inside.
You’re so sweet to say that, Jackie. You just made my day!
Is great that you shared that. Sharing who you are helps others because you are letting them inside
Thank u Pastor for daring to share! Love u
Thank you Pastor Nicole. Please pray for me. I am doing and trusting God and believing for victory but eveything makes my eyes well up with tears. I don’t know what i need other than a touch from God. Thank you
I think what I seem to hang on to is the fact that some of the people in my past don’t know that I have changed so much even though I know I am a new person. I was always a “good” person who loved God but I needed a wake up call on sexual morality. Even though I felt married to my boyfriend of four years, that did not make it so in God’s eyes. That sort of thing and the other human faults that we all need a wake up call on seen to stay in the back of my mind. We need to stay humble but I believe that these memories hold me back sometimes. Thanks for the encouragement to move on. Keep the blogs coming 🙂
Carol, no matter what anyone thinks, you are a new person & I’m proud of you for making that decision! You’re on the right path. Praying for you!
Thank you Pastor Nicole! I’m going through something right now. The past keeps creeping up and I feel so overwhelmed. After six years of being by myself, I started dating again. Because of past bad experiences and hurt, this almost didn’t have a leg to stand on. I thought I may have shot my on self in the foot, but after reading your reading this, I am encouraged. I thank God and you. My past is not my future and my Father has erased my old life! For no good thing shall He withhold from me. Praise Him. Amen!
That’s right, Jeanette! Your past is your past!