My son has been planning his engagement for months. From the second that I saw his nervousness and wanting the moment to be PERFECT, to her ecstatic JOY and excitement of him asking her to be his wife; I knew I wanted to share it with the world.
(And I’m not even the one getting married!)
It made me stop and think, about how couples are SO excited when their future is just beginning. A relationship that started out on one knee with a “WILL YOU?”, to a beautiful and well thought out ceremony of “I DO’s”; more than 50% of the time leaves the pair wondering “WHAT DID WE DO?”
Love Is A Verb
One thing I’ve figured out about that 4 letter word, L-O-V-E, (Yep, sometimes it rolls off of my tongue like a curse word, even in our GREAT marriage!) is that it’s NOT a feeling, not even a little bit.
I mean, we do GET a feeling as a by-product. But REAL LOVE has nothing to do with a feeling.
LOVE…the kind that makes marriages work, is actually a VERB. It’s an ACTION word, DOING something ALL the time!
Love is an ATTITUDE. When we’re doing “that thing” that we don’t want to do (in the name of love) NO ONE should know that we really didn’t WANT to do it.
You First
I’ve lived through GOOD and BAD relationships. First, I was divorced and lived through the pain of having my heart RIPPED in half.
But now, I’m getting to live my “happily-ever-after” FAIRY TALE, most of the time, for the last 16 years of marriage.
I’ve learned that love is putting someone else FIRST. What? No ME time? That’s not what I’m saying.
I AM saying, that if two people are committed to putting EACH OTHER first, then selfishness will not be an issue and love will flourish.
Love Endures
The Bible pretty much NAILS IT with the scripture they read at most weddings. (I don’t think the blushing brides and nervous grooms are able to truly ponder it, in the moment.)
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
Love Never Fails!
With Valentine’s Day approaching, the world is thinking about LOVE. Actually, we don’t need a holiday to remind us.
People are ALWAYS looking for love!
Love is work…HARD work! But it’s the most amazingly rewarding work that we’ll ever do. It’s the kind of work that FUELS us and gives us strength beyond imagination!
I’m excited to be talking with you about LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS in my blog, over the next few days.
Prayer for Today
“Dear God, we all want to love and to be loved. Help us to sow love into others that we desire, and to truly feel the love that others are sowing into us.” Amen.
Tell us something you’ve learned about love; something that has worked for you. What have you tried to do differently in order to make a relationship work?
Love never fails…..
I’ve been married for 22 years & I still love my husband with all that I am. I love him more now, than I did 22 yrs. ago! Real love is agape love! You love inspite of. We’ve had some rough spots over the years, but asking God for strength, help, & wisdom has been our tool. So, because of God & our desire to love & stay together we have & will overcome ALL obstacles!
Nicole – 22 years? That’s awesome! Keep it up and let me know how the next 22 years go! 😉
Love this blog. You have such a great way with words and they always seem to make such perfect sense!! Thanks for sharing, I look forward to these little reminders to help keep my life in check! Have a blessed day!!
Crystal – thanks for reading today and your generous, sweet words!
Read the Love Dare and do it, it helped my relationship. Also the Respect Dare, both will challenge you to be a better person in your walk with the Lord, and relationships.
Great blog this week Pastor Nicole. Let me just say that I am so happy for Austin and MJ I have never met two more nicer people than them. I still can’t believe that they are engaged. Austin did a great job proposing to her. Something that I have learned from love is that sometimes your going to get hurt. With my last two relationships I got hurt it bothered me but I knew that I wasn’t meant to be with those people. I know god has someone out there for me. I just haven’t met him yet. To me love is something that two people share. Congrats to Austin and MJ. I just love both them they are amazing.
Great blog! I think the “What did we do” question plagues most marriages. I think I have pondered the same question inside the last month. In 10 years of marraige I have learned that love is most definitely hardwork but not so hard when following Gods words. The first years of our marriage were a real struggle. About 4 years ago my husband and I began bringing our faimily to Faith Church. We decided it was time to honor they part of our vows that included honoring God. We took God at His word about how a husband and
wife should treat each other and we began to practice patience and communication. Our marriage is not perfect but it has grown stronger and succeeded in times when other thought it would fail. So my experience has shown me that faith in God and each other works
Lauren – I love hearing about God’s hand working in a marriage! 🙂
Great Blog Pastor Nicole!!!
As Rhonda and I have entered into our 40th year as a married couple, we’ve experienced and learned that as we’ve ‘died to self’ in order to be more of a servant for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we’ve also ‘died to self’ to experience the love you spoke about to each other. It’s a sacrificial act of obedience and as we engage our total being in the Love that GOD has for us, the sacrificial love we share for each other only enhances. GOD Bless you and Pastor David and thank you for being a blessing to many.
Mel,
Great insight on what has made your marriage successful! Keep it up!
Thank you for always being an encouragement! When I was married at 22 for 9 years to the father of my three children… I recognize I did not know what LOVE truly was… I thought it was a feeling with the acts… When I did not feel the love I did not act in love.. Immaturity?? Not sure .. Prob part of it … Only over the past 8 years have I truly sought what LOVE truly is… Now with Godly guidance …I know what Love is and have been reunited with a friend of over 38 years… We grew up in church together until we went off to college and now we ACT on LOVE and are in amazing relationship… I am blessed to know what LOVE truly is…God has blessed us…it is such a blessing to Also now have my true fairy tale…
Love requires TEAMWORK…you must both be willing to give, compromise and not just take from the other. I was blessed with 18 wonderful years with my husband and he loved GOD first which then allowed him to truly love his children and his wife and family. I thank God for the experience and treasure the marriage even more now that he passed away. Thank you for sharing yourself and Pastor David with us as we see God working through you into our lives.
This is beautiful and such a great point! As you often hear, team work makes the dream work and it sounds like you had a beautiful dream of a marriage!
I am recently divorced and I’ve looked back on my relationships and concluded the meaning of love is different for each person. It’s important to be open and honest with each other in sharing what love means to you and what is required of you to display love to one another. Once you find out you have to be honest with yourself and decide can you offer their type of love and vice versa….
Jewel – great thoughts! We have to start with honesty in ourselves!
As all of your blogs, Pastor Nicole, this blog is filled with godly wisdom. Love is hard work and it does require patience and kindness as you’ve reminded us through God’s Scripture. Love endures. Thank you and Pastor David for being the Godly example of love that God’s Word describes. P.S. Congratulations to Austin and MJ…loved that you included the video! :-)))
So I left an earlier comment, but I want to elaborate. About a year and a half ago after 21 years of marriage and being with my husband for 27 years, he said he didn’t love me anymore-there is more to the story, but I Love and respect him and so I don’t need to rehash. Anyway at that point was it a major low. I started coming to Faith Church, I cried like a baby the first Tuesday night, but I listened intentlly and I started praying. 1 1/2 years Later we are still married will be celebrating our 23rd anniversary together. I cannot emphasize how much turning it over to God and his Plan changed our lives, our family, and our children. If not for the guiding words of both you and your husband, we would be in a different place. Thank You. We hope to be guidance to other couples, as we feel that is where God is leading us.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Leanna! I’m thankful for the restoration that you all received and celebrate with you on having another anniversary and many more to come!
Communication. Communication is the key to success. Daily, like brushing your teeth each morning, its a necessity. Not just about daily stuff with work, but about your fears, your dreams, and your desires. You should be able to talk with your partner like he/she is your best friend and you would tell them everything without fear of retaliation. Kindness and forgiveness is BIG too. We should forgive as GOD has forgiven us. Don’t let the past hold you back from a wonderful future.
Beautifully written, AuDriann! Communication is number 1!