Somebody did me wrong.
I mean… down and dirty.
They asked me if they could take something from me.
I said no. Then they did it anyway.
They even talked bad about me in the process.
Ouch! I thought they were my friend. That hurts even worse.
This isn’t a recent event – otherwise it’s possible that someone might think that I am talking about them. No, this happened a while back. Yet, I still remember it clearly.
You see, after it happened I didn’t call them and tell them what they did.
I didn’t ask them why they did it.
I didn’t correct them.
I didn’t even give them a piece of my mind (I need all the pieces I have).
What I Should Have Said?
I’ve shared this story, more than once, as an example of how to work though workplace differences.
Most of the time, this is the most shocking part of the story.
After all, its only natural to want to pick up the phone and say, “What the heck were you thinking?”
Or, “Were you thinking at all?”
That makes sense, right?
Let’s review: They asked. We said no. They did it anyway.
Come to think about it, they should be expecting a phone call…
But are they?
You see, they aren’t expecting a phone call (or any other type of confrontation) because they don’t think they did anything wrong.
And if we told them they were wrong, we would just hurt ourselves.
A wise man once said:
If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face; confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins. So don’t waste your time on a scoffer; all you’ll get for your pains is abuse. But if you correct those who care about life, that’s different—they’ll love you for it! — Proverbs 9:7-8 (MSG)
Basically, if a jerk is a jerk (and let’s face it, sometimes people are), it’s not our job to correct them.
Not only is it not our job… it makes us self-righteous and pain seeking.
Not worth it!
However, for as many jerks as there are out there, there are just as many people who are looking to be better friends.
These are your true friends.
They are the ones you can share your feelings and coach to a better place in life.
So, the next time “somebody done somebody wrong” – be sure you know who and what you are dealing with so you don’t just deal yourself more pain.
How did you handle a recent time when someone hurt you?
Let me know in the comments. I want to hear all about it.