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Nicole Crank is a USA Today Best-Selling Author, dynamic international conference speaker, powerful life coach, pastor, and well-known television host of “The Nicole Crank Show,” that is broadcast around the world! Nicole and husband, David, are the Lead Pastors of FaithChurch.com, with eight campuses in Missouri, Illinois, Florida, and thousands more Online.

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That Hurt!

Blog

March 17, 2014

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Nicole Crank is a USA Today Best-Selling Author, dynamic international conference speaker, powerful life coach, pastor, and well-known television host of “The Nicole Crank Show,” that is broadcast around the world! Nicole and husband, David, are the Lead Pastors of FaithChurch.com, with eight campuses in Missouri, Illinois, Florida, and thousands more Online.

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That Hurt!

Have you ever had a case of the flu where you felt SO BAD for SO LONG, that when you finally got better you thought,“Wow? I forgot how GOOD it feels to feel GOOD!”

I think the same thing happens with EMOTIONAL wounds.

In BETWEEN hurts, betrayals or flat-out breathtaking sucker punches, we tend to FORGET just how bad an emotional “hurt” actually HURTS!

Blindsided
Suddenly, something UNEXPECTED comes “out of the blue” and hurts us in a way that we forgot was even possible.

We TRY to erase it from our thought life; and might be able to pull it off for a little while.
But, no matter who’s right or who’s wrong…that horrible ACHE is still there!

Mind Games
Then the MENTAL barrage and INNER dialogue begins.

• WHY would they do that to me?
• Am I not GOOD enough?
• Am I not SMART enough? Or WORTH it?
• Am I REALLY what they say I am?
• I mean…I’m TRYING my best!

Does that person who just plunged a DAGGER into my heart even CARE?

This Taught Me A Lot!
Recently, when a BIG HURT came out of nowhere and took the wind out of my sails, my FAMILY really helped me get over it.

They allowed me to tell my story, as I tried to PURGE the hurt from my soul and GRASP how and why it all happened.

They didn’t cut me off or speed me up. They were just PATIENT with me.

I thought they were angels, and really they were handling the situation just how the Bible tells us to. “…Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (NLT)

Encourage
Then, they spoke words of LIFE into me. They told me of my VALUE. They reminded me of all the things that they LOVED about me.

I could feel the ache subsiding and confidence growing as they followed God’s way. “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)

Do it Again!
Later that day and the next, right about the time the hurt would come up in my mind again, SUDDENLY I started receiving random texts of LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT.

“Speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (MSG)

What I Learned
When we have friends that are hurting, we sometimes wonder, “WHY can’t they talk about something…ANYTHING else?”

Why can’t they just MOVE ON? I figured out why – because that’s all THEY are thinking about at the time. The person who is hurt wants to move on too, they could just use a little help from their friends (I just started singing Joe Cocker ‘I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends’, you should YouTube it)

I‘ve learned that sowing those SEEDS of patience and encouragement in someone who needs love and encouragement will yield a harvest that we’ll be thankful for later.

Prayer for Today
“Lord, help us to love others as we want to be loved. Help us to recognize hurting people and have compassion on them. And Lord, we pray that You heal the hearts of those who are hurting around us.” Amen

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  1. Angie Jones says:

    Trials will come for all of us. As I have been facing a season that is difficult I am thankful that God is always their and I am thankful for those dear friends that just allowed me to cry and talk and were supportive. : )

    • Nicole Crank says:

      I’m praying for you, Angie. Whatever it is that you’re going through, God is going to help you through it! 🙂 You’re season is about to change. Get ready.

  2. mary stout says:

    I thank you, that was beautiful ….

  3. Kara Hutchinson says:

    Thank you so much for posting this! Exactly what I needed to hear! So glad I stumbled across your Instagram pic! Grateful for you and the impact you are making in my life clear in Washington!

  4. Sharon Gravois says:

    Thank you so much for this encouraging blog. I started praying a prayer about six months ago. A prayer that God would bring the right people in my life and to help me let the wrong ones go. Not through discord or anything, but that we would just walk our separate ways. God put in my heart that I needed to guard my daughter. To watch what I let speak into her life… from what I let her watch on tv, music I let her listen to, and who I let speak in her life…and in mine. I’m not talking about being a control freak…lol, but just to watch what or who I am letting in. I want Life being poured into her, not being taken away from her. I agree 100% with you. We can’t let toxic relationships hold us back from what God has for us. Like you said the other night… the right ones are coming in and the wrong ones gotta go!!!! Love you and your family! God is using you all in mighty ways…. KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON!!!!!

    • Nicole Crank says:

      I’m glad it encouraged you, Sharon! That means a lot to me! And you are right, we have to let go of toxic relationships. You are a good mom, & your daughter will thank you in the long run. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

  5. Jackie Blaha says:

    Great for today. We can get fixated. Then we eventually can look at it and ask ourselved what have you learned. There’s always a lesson. Often the lesson is about growth. Ours. Someone told me some of the most painful periods we grow the most. I am not always up for the lesson or another darn challenge

  6. Stephanie Allgaier says:

    I needed this today. God is speaking to me through you. Thank you so much!

  7. Jane criswell says:

    Your blog reminds me of why I have loved the songs “speak life” and ” words” for such a long time now. These songs, like your blog remind me how powerful our words are. It is so true that we shape our own life and those around us with our words!!! Thank you for posting this! I’m going to set some people free with words of emc

  8. Angela Valdes says:

    Yes, it’s so hard to understand why people attack when you’re just trying to help others and make a difference. Thank you for sharing that. It reminds us that we’re not alone in the enemy’s attacks.

  9. Carol Kassing says:

    Thanks for the encouragement Pastor Nicole. I spent five hours with a
    friend on Sat. night just listening and giving the best advice I could. It did come to mind that she should just move on but God gave patience and understanding that I needed for that person. These conversations will be ongoing for a while so I am grateful for your blog engouraging me to just be there and listen with a kind heart.

    • Nicole Crank says:

      Carol, you are an amazing friend! Few people have mastered the art of “listening”. God is going to bless you big time for allowing Him to reach out to her through you. I will be praying that God will give you strength and wisdom!

  10. Donna Summers says:

    Thank you for sharing. My current season of life is emotionally hard and the words you shared are exactly how I feel. God is good all of the time and Im leaning on Proverbs 3:5-6.

    • Nicole Crank says:

      Donna, you are welcome! I’ll be praying for you! No matter what you’re going through, God is going to help you through. Nehemiah 8:10,”The Joy of the Lord is your strength.” Thanks so much for commenting.

  11. Carla says:

    I feel like this message was pertaining to me because this is the way I felt today…..I want to thank you for your message.. It really helped me today…..thank You!!!

  12. Zoe Guyton says:

    Thank you for sharing.

  13. Natalie says:

    This is so true! We can be our own worst enemy! Thank you!

  14. Ria Rahaman says:

    Thank you for always sharing your heart! It’s often hard to imagine that a beautiful woman like you would have ever had any pain in life comparable to mine, yet our past is remarkably similar. I was hurt in such a cruel way a while back that I still have days when I want to cry. The good thing is that there is hope. It does get better. Hearing and reading positive faith-filled messages, continually, like yours and the messages from Pastor Dave and Faith Church keep me mindful of who I am and how great our God is!

    • Nicole Crank says:

      Ria, thank you so much! You have no idea how much this encourages me to hear that. And yes, it will get better! If it got better for me, it’ll get better for you. God has a HUGE plan for your life. Your problems & the hurts from your past may be BIG, but your GOD is BIGGER! God is a master at taking our broken PIECES & turning them into MASTERPIECES. Thank you so much for commenting!

  15. Veronica Karas says:

    Going through Big Hurt alone…family doesn’t know and I feel wouldn’t understand…complicated. Only friends I have are on FB, not something I can share there…will be attending the Faithchurch WPB meeting this Thursday, hoping I will find peace and understanding there……

    • Nicole Crank says:

      Veronica, everything is going to be ok. You don’t have to go through the “Big Hurt” alone. That’s what God is here for. 🙂 He wants you to go to Him. When you do, you’ll find life, problems, etc are a million times easier! No one can give you peace and love like God can. Here’s a verse that always helps me when I’m going through a tough time. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. I’m praying for you!

  16. sheri steffens says:

    Lovely thoughts – sometimes you just don’t have anyone that you can talk about the hurt that just won’t go away. Talking with God helps.:)

  17. jackie blaha says:

    Some hurts do not go away . We just learn to cope. I have experienced what I thought were great friends tell me they could not be around someone that couldn’t find their way out of problems and heartache. That was heartache on top of another. I prayed for God to help them see that everyone can’t always jump up and get back to normal. By doing that I gained strength. I learned to put more faith in God’s help. People are only human. They are afraid of your problems. Goes back to our expectations.

    • Nicole Crank says:

      You’re very right, Jackie! It’s good to know that even when our “friends” aren’t there, God always is! God will never let you down, and He can a will take your hurt away if you give it to Him. We have to let go of the hurt of the past to fully grab hold of the joy God has in our future. Easier said than done–yes. But with God all things are possible! Thank you so much for commenting!

    • pam says:

      I always love too much and always get hurt! Even though I don’t know you as much as I would like to, I know you would understand what I have been going through and be a good friend. True friends stay with you through the good times and the bad times!God will be my best friend for now on…

      • Nicole Crank says:

        That’s right, Pam. Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. Just keep your head up, & don’t take the pain to heart. He’s the best friend anyone could ever have.

  18. Crystal Hammontree-Pennock says:

    Every time I’m going through my emails I usually delete more than I read. I always keep your blogs and read when I finish deleting the junk. They usually seem to be extremely appropriate in my life and this one…I sometimes forget to do this and this reminder sank in deeply. Love reading your blog and listening to you pastor. Thank you for being such a real, positive and beautiful mentor. You have no idea how much you touch people. I just wanted to say thank you and let you know how much I appreciate you as my pastor. 🙂

  19. Pam McLaughlin says:

    I always give to much of myself and always get hurt in the end!True friends stay together through the good times and the bad times.God will be my friend from now on.I know he will love me and never leave me!

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