Labor Day – a day to rest from Labor – YAHOO!!!
We were walking, eating, shopping and having a great time.
We were having so much fun, I felt like we were on a first date again.
Kid-free, work-free, worry-free and almost giddy.
Holding hands as we window shopped and browsed around.
Then it happened
Sometimes it is brought on by a text, or an email. Maybe even a random thought. Or from passing someone that reminds you of a person from your past.
But suddenly, a seemingly innocent conversation opened a recent wound.
Not to be gross, but when someone picks at a scab – it is kind of nasty. A piece of scab comes off and then the wound starts bleeding again.
Ashtyn, my 7 year old daughter, loves to scratch mosquito bites until they bleed. They scab over and she still scratches. Then the scab comes off and she bleeds amazing amounts. She looks like she was in a knife fight!
When the scab was removed on this old wound in our conversation, suddenly we both started bleeding from the mouth (metaphorically of course). Sentences came pouring out quickly starting with phrases like,
Why did they…
How could they…
What were they thinking when…
There’s no way they should have…
Before we knew it, our sunshiny, silly, happy day had been hijacked by the words of our mouth and one runaway thought.
How many times has this happened to you?
It took me 5-10 minutes to realize that I wasn’t happy anymore.
That our pace has sped up considerably, our mood had dropped faster than the Dow Stock Exchange, and we weren’t shopping – we were assaulting poor innocent clothing racks with fast, crabby hands as we talked.
Then it hit me – why did I just say that?
Why did I let that random thought out of my mouth? One thought turned into words steered the ship of our day in the wrong direction, not just for me – for both of us!
That’s why the Bible says,
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
— Psalms 19:14 (NIV)
God wants us to know that the wrong words put out there in conversation can really pull us to the wrong place. Even though I can quote the scripture, I still let it happen.
Now I have to fix it. And it is going to be much harder to get this going back in the right direction than it was to just let the feelings of the moment take us downstream as they did earlier.
The thing about allowing ourselves to be taken down by thoughts, feelings, words and emotions is this – going downhill is easy. Getting back up to where we started is an uphill battle.
As difficult as it may seem to stamp the thought out in our minds before it ever has the opportunity to become a spoken word, it is ten or one hundred times more difficult to just say all the things that pop into our mind, let it drag us and others down and then have to climb back up again.
So, what did I do?
I ate it.
I told my husband that I screwed up. I brought up something stupid and ruined our mood. It was my fault that we weren’t laughing anymore and talking about stupid things.
Then I kissed him on the lips and pinched him on the butt. (I don’t recommend those actions unless you are dealing with your spouse!). But, the point is – I changed the mood.
Thoughts and comments popped back up for the next five minutes or so, trying to re-hijack our day. But we had learned. Forget it. Flirty smack, kiss, tickle – or whatever it took to re-direct us back to our date-mode.
And now I’m sharing my screw up with you.
Hopefully it helps you avoid the trap that I just fell into.
I want to invite you to share your story below.
As potentially a couple thousand people read this blog and the comments with it – it is your opportunity to help someone miss that pothole we have fallen it.
So what did you just say that you can’t believe?
And how did you get life back on track?