Have you ever tried to make someone FEEL how much you love and appreciate them, but NOTHING seems to get through to them? Or the other person says they appreciate you, even though you don’t feel it?
So many relationships have COMMON DISCONNECTS whether between neighbors or married couples. This has been a problem for decades!
The book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman has changed my world! It is a quick 14 chapters that FLIES BY if you READ ONE CHAPTER A NIGHT.
What are the Five Love Languages?
1. Quality TIME – My son Austin doesn’t just want a hug or gift or just 5 minutes of time, so when he gives his time, he’s showing that he loves you. Do you want him to know he’s important to you? You got to give him your time.
2. Physical TOUCH – My hubby wants a hug, a pat on the arm or a high five, or quick rub on the shoulders. It rejuvenates him to connect physically with his family and friends.
3. Acts of SERVICE – This is MY language. I show and feel love by DOING things for people and by DOING things for God. When my kids do the dishes and I didn’t even ask…then HUGE feelings of excitement well up in my heart!!!
4. WORDS of affirmation – For those who speak this love language need to HEAR that you love them, they need a GOOD JOB email and they thrive on WORDS written or spoken that let them know where they stand and fills up their love tank.
5. Giving GIFTS – This person loves to GIVE AND RECEIVE GIFTS. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A small token that is bought or made for them communicates what they need in a very powerful way!
Why should I bother?
Our God speaks all of these languages and knows how to make us feel His love. His desire is for us to love one another enough to invest the time to FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOVE THOSE AROUND US IN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE.
What love language do you think you speak? Is it the same or different as people around you?
I think I fit into both quality time and acts of service. I feel very disconnected from my family and friends if I do not get to spend tine with them. By the samr token, I love doing things for other people, especially people I love and care about. When the act of service is reciprocated, I feel over joyed and it reaffirms for me how much the relationship means to them. My husband is a physical touch person and it is sometimes difficult because I have to constantly remind myself that I need to make this effort with him because it is important to him. We have four kids and it everyone has their own personalities so it sonetimes seems chaotic trying to fulfill everyones individual needs but it is always worth it!
Lauren – It does become difficult to reach beyond what our love language is and to remember to love people based on how they receive it but when we are able to remember this, it becomes so rewarding within the relationship! Keep it up!
Love Languages is so essential…if we love others in their love language they will react more positively. It is hard sometimes to love others in their love language as it is often not our own love language. We know how to receive and give love in our own language but reaching to love in other love languages can be a challenge, but so rewarding to both!!
You got it Angie!!
I believe my love language is acts of service!! My love language is definitely different from the people around me!!
I can make my son a pecan pie, and it will fill his tank everytime!
I bet that would fill everyone’s tank! 🙂
Great book. I wish I had read it when I was about 15 years old.